Five Ways To Make Your Wedding A Nightmare...(or things to avoid)

Two weeks ago I had the wedding from...well, I don't want to write the word here but let's just say, imagine Dante's Inferno and multiply it by 100.  Seriously...I'm not kidding...seriously, it was the worst experience I have ever had in seven years of planning weddings.  So I am now here to give some tips on what to avoid when planning your wedding so that it doesn't end up like the afore mentioned lovefest (can you sense the sarcasm here??  I hope so because I'm laying it on pretty thick).

1. Hiring a caterer who is not really a caterer

By this I mean a restaurant or friend who swears they can handle the food for your 175 person wedding. Let me clarify that this does not mean that all restaurants (and friends) are terrible caterers...quite the opposite, some are amazing!  But for this wedding, they were horrendous!  They were supposed to arrive at 3pm and when I spoke with her at 5pm, they were in the Bronx instead of Liberty State Park and the cocktail hour started at 5:45pm. I almost had a heart attack right there on the spot.  For those of you who are not from New York, it's WAY too far away to even hope to arrive in time.  At 7:15 pm the caterer then sauntered (yes, you read that right sauntered in - I would have been sprinting like I was Usain Bolt into that wedding) into the kitchen prep area...mind you there was absolutely no food for the cocktail hour and we had to delay the start of the reception by an hour because we were waiting for her arrival.  

2. Ignoring ALL advice given by your experienced planner (whom you hired for her expertise)...

Now, I do not profess to have seen and/or know everything regarding weddings, but I certainly think I have a lot of knowledge about how successful weddings are run.  With that being said, when the couple (in this case, Groomzilla) questions everything regarding the run of show for the day and every suggestion I am trying to give, then I have hit a wall.  As a planner there is only so much I can do to make an event successful before I can do no more.  If the couple doesn't want to listen then you hope for the best and plan for the worst.  

Planners and Day of Coordinators are hired for a reason; let us do our jobs so that your wedding can be the best day ever.  

3. Choosing a venue that is only accessible by a boat...

OR a very small staffing bridge that is guarded by Federal Marshals with bomb sniffing dogs that leave at 4pm for the day no matter what.  Please refer to tip # 1 to see why that would be a major problem...

I am all for fabulous, unique venues but sometimes that can make them a logistical nightmare.  If even one vendor is running late or the weather is bad then you as the planner start into major damage control mode.  Again, please refer to tip #1 for why this was a major issue at this particular wedding.

4. Waiting until two weeks before your wedding to hire all vendors

OR hiring a first round of vendors and then either firing them or they quit and run screaming for the hills when they realize that you are nuts.  This was the case for me at this wedding...except that I was in the dark about the hiring of an entirely different set of original vendors.  Why didn't someone clue me in?

5. Be a major jerk...

OR verbally abuse everyone including the new bride (and myself and entire staff) and have a guest physically assault one of my staff members because apparently the entire wedding was totally nuts.  I am again not kidding...I so wish I was.  I don't really have too much more to say about this except it stunk big time.

Now some of you reading this may have chuckled a few times and said to yourself, "This can't be for real"...I am here to assure you that it was and that I am still having nightmares, thank you very much. Others of you may just want to give me a hug and still others may be thinking that I need to get over it, I was paid and it's finished now...to those in the second group I am sticking my tongue out as you (trust me I am even though you can't see me).  And to those who want to give me a hug, I say, "Yes, Please!" After that wedding I need a hug...

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For more information on Wedding and Event Planning, please visit our website at the Sheffield School.

Comments

[Tamie]

I am sorry sorry you had such a horrid experience. That is why I choose my clients very carefully. The lines of communication must be open and if the couple is demanding and downright mean, yes, i too will run for the hills. Planning a wedding like that takes the joy out of being a wedding planner and i refuse to hate my job :)

[Donna Crabtree]

The day of a catering job can be a nightmare. There's nothing worse than getting to that outdoor job that is ten miles from nowhere and realizing that you forgot your spatulas, or even worse, that you forgot the steaks. Caterers generally thrive under pressure; that's what makes us good at what we do, but needless stress will lead to burnout and can quickly take all of the fun out of doing what we love.

[Nishi]

A hug?!?!? Honestly after that you need your own mini vacation! Bless your heart!